3 KEY QUESTIONS THAT WILL CHANE YOUR DESTINY
AUTHOR – Nataliya Dolinska – Transformation & Love LifeStyle Inspirational Mentor
A successful #integration is a big topic today when it comes to #employment and the local traditions and the way of doing. Our labor market become more and more #international and we need to learn how to build bridges from both sides.
- What if you could reinvent yourself, would you still make the same decisions?
- What if you could start a new life, what would it be?
- What is stopping you from doing so?
TIME FOR A CHANGE
I was no stranger to the feelings of doubt and uncertainty when I moved to Belgium to start a new life 26 years ago. As it turned out like many expats in fact I seemed to be unprepared for the reality waiting for me there. Making a new home in a different culture is not only about learning the language, the local traditions and finding a job. It’s much more than that. It’s about all those things and embracing the differences, the other way of thinking and doing with your heart and making it as a part of your new identity. This is the only way you will build a home where you feel like you belong and succeed to make life you love.
Like many people I’ve jumped into the ocean of new life without having the clue of what this new life, new culture was actually about. I’ve jumped and … have almost drowned. I followed the path of integration with success. I’ve learned languages, found a good job, but I wasn’t happy. Even after decennia I still felt like a stranger. It’s when I really hit the bottom of it and it felt like I lost my identity, I realized it’s either die or reinvent myself. But this time I needed a new mindset, a new strategy to proceed.
EXPLORE YOUR TRUE SELF LEADS YOU TO YOUR CORE
The transformation began for me when I realized that I don’t really know anymore who I’m and what I really want. The realization of that came when I understood that neither my inner voice sounds kind, nor it would tell me to choose things that I actually love and enjoy, that are actually only for me. These were mostly all the “musts” typical for a working woman with a family trying to survive on my to-do list trying to meet the expectations of the others. That made me start wondering: who am I actually and where, when is Me for mySelf? That question was a great game-changer.
IDENTIFY YOUR LIMITING BELIEFS
I’ve realized that one of my major limiting beliefs was about not feeling good enough despite the tremendous amounts of new skills I’ve learned and professional success I’ve already had over the years of living in the new cultural environment. I’ve heard often how often people don’t dare to do things they like because they are afraid. But I always believed fear was for weak people and no way it was me, a warrior woman as I saw myself.
Still deep in my heart I knew I wasn’t completely honest with myself. As I value clarity and honesty very high, I’ve decided to put it straight once and for all. So I’ve decided to have a DATE WITH MYSELF to identify my core, my focus and what is holding me back from life I want. From the feeling of coming home where I belong. In that session I’ve learned a great deal about myself and admitted that as much as I’m courageous I was afraid, too. Like anybody else, also strong people. Afraid of trying and failing. Afraid of being laughed at. Afraid of not having the approval of others. As a result, I got stuck in the labyrinth of my thoughts about how things could have been different for me if I dared to do this or that. But in reality it hardly went any further than thoughts. It seemed to be somehow “safe” to stay the same way than allow myself to embrace new things not only intellectually but open up to them with my heart. Only the truth is – it wasn’t safe at all. On the contrary. I felt lonely, insecure, resentful, at times powerless and not in the driving seat. With time I started to procrastinate even in the area’s where I usually used to be dynamic, efficient and proactive. I’ve developed bad habits like overeating and therefore have gained excessive weight as I never had before. My sleep was very bad. I became more and more reserved and distant with people, my family. The light of a happy energetic spirit that featured me all my life was fading away, going more and more into the shadow.
So finally at that DATE WITH MYSELF I realized that giving into that negative voice wouldn’t help me reach my goals — I had to start making progress.
RELOAD AND RESTART
Finally it came to me “What reason do I have to believe that there ever would be this happy new life if it didn’t happen yet despite all my hard efforts over the 20 years?” I’ve realized that if I really wanted a new future then there is only one moment when I can make a difference, it’s a present moment. I’ve realized that if I really want a new future then I need to identify my core and create a new model of the world, of motivation and the rules that will allow me to act differently not because I must, but because I can do it, I want to expand it and I enjoy doing it. Because it makes me a better contributor to the good in this world and it’s worth fighting for. In here and now is all the time of my new future, the life I love.
I’ve learned that it’s all right to feel unhappy with the status quo when you’re working toward a goal, because that means you still have a hunger inside of yourself that’s fueling you forward.
Instead of noticing the gap between the status quo and where I hoped to be in the future and feeling badly about that disparity, I learned constructive ways to deal with my emotions. I’ve created a whole system of beliefs and actions that would support me in my transformation and making progress towards the life I love. Instead of saying “I can’t do this,” “I must do it,” I started saying, “What can I do to change this now?” and “How can I do that in a way that manifests my magnificent Self?” I learned that I don’t have to be perfect — I just had to make progress and honor with love and gratitude my new little big results.
Reinventing yourself is a lifelong process. Self realization is not only about career. And the way you look and act has a lot to do with the quality of your emotions and the relationship you’ve built with yourself and the outside world. And the amount of happiness and joy in your life has much more to do with your emotional home where you spend most of the time, than the country you are living in.
Lots of goals can take a long time to achieve, but by working toward them daily and using the tools of Love LifeStyle presented at DATE WITH YOURSELF, anything’s possible.
When asked what the event meant for me, I’d say: “My Date With MySelf was the most loving creative act I’ve ever done in my entire life for myself. It was such an eye opener and the game changer. I’ve reconnected with the ultimate and the most reliable wholehearted friend, protector, fun maker and undertaker who’s always stayed loyal to me – my True Self. Since then I’m back in the driving seat better than before. I don’t need my armor any more because Tibet is inside me, it’s My Core. And I have the system and the life vision to express it in the ways that are aligned with it. This way I experience the joy from being myself every day of my new life.”
Ready to experience the event that will change your life? Start living your passion by signing up for Explore Your True Self today.